Less-Than-Happy Holidays: Dealing with Loneliness and Sadness this Season

For some people, the holiday season is the happiest of them all…for others, it’s the hardest. Many people struggle with loneliness, sadness, and even full-on seasonal depression this time of year, making it difficult to feel particularly festive. Financial stress, a lack of friend or family support and companionship, grief over lost loved ones, and the high expectations of gift giving and celebrating can take a toll if you let them. Whatever you’re feeling this December, the best gift you can give to yourself and those around you is prioritizing your own well-being. Below are five tips for protecting your mental health over the holidays!

 

Remember the Reality:

Image of a woman with blonde hair sitting down looking sad, you can see a Christmas tree in the background of the photo.

Just like amazing filters on Instagram, family photos, movies, and commercials make it look like everyone’s holiday season is joyful and shared with great company. In reality, one study found that more than 10% of people spend the holidays alone, and even many who celebrate with family and friends find gatherings stressful. If your holiday celebrations aren’t living up to your expectations, the first step is understanding that most of us are comparing our holidays to an unrealistic ideal. Then, we can get real about what “joy” looks like for us—not the media—over the holidays, and make plans or set boundaries accordingly. 

 

Find Your People:

Families come in many forms, and holidays like “Friendsgiving” show how people are reimagining “family” gatherings to incorporate the people who matter most, related or not. If your circumstances make a family celebration infeasible, think about the ways you can recognize the holiday or the season with other important people in your life—or even make some new friends! Your local Center for Independent Living (CIL) is a great resource for social and recreational activities in the area and peer support during this challenging season. Get in touch at https://dnmichigan.org/cils/

 

Connect with the Community:

From volunteering at your local soup kitchen to attending a virtual book club, one benefit to the holidays is that there are endless opportunities to get involved with your neighbors and community. In addition to your nearest CIL, public libraries, local non-profit organizations, recreation centers and municipalities often lead the way in planning holiday events and activities. Your CIL or municipal office is a great place to start, or even city and town pages on Facebook or Nextdoor. Working with your neighbors to improve your community can quash loneliness and boost your mood and well-being. 

 

Know When to Seek Help:

Even the merriest of people can catch a case of the “winter blues.” However, if you experience sadness, loss of interest in things you once enjoyed, or changes in mood, sleep, or appetite that last for several weeks, you may have a more serious condition like seasonal depression. If you are in crisis or thinking about harming yourself or others, call or text 9-8-8, or chat at 988lifeline.org. For general mental health resources in Michigan, contact your CIL or visit Michigan.gov/StayWell.

 

Pass the Time Dreaming of Spring:

Even the most stressful holidays and bitterly cold winters eventually end. Planning a mid-winter vacation, live-streaming a dream destination, touring UNESCO World Heritage Sites via Google Earth, or peering out a stranger’s window for a few minutes can help to keep your spirits up until spring arrives. The COVID pandemic created more opportunities than ever before to interact virtually with the world around you, so learn, explore, and await the return of sunny weather from the comfort of your home.